Ups, Downs and Blessings All Around

After Sat.'s BNP numbers at 209 we were sooo excited to go home.  All the staff, nurses, surgeons, etc. were gung-ho to send us home.  Clinically she looked perfect.  Just one doctor, the pulmonary  hypertension specialist, wanted us to stay.  We tried really hard not to be too disappointed but it was a really tough day.  

I'm so grateful they hold Sacrament services here at the hospital.  It was a very needed break from the "hospital routine" and also to know that we're all struggling together.  I loved a quote from Pres. Uchtdorf's talk "Grateful in Any Circumstances" We can choose to be grateful, no matter what.  This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer.  How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?    

Later in the day, Elina's milk carton asked if you had three wishes, what would they be?  Her wishes were to 1. Go home.  2. Get more prizes 3. Get a TV that works.  I laughed at the more prizes.  We piled up the stuffed animals, blankets, etc. she's been given.  I told her I'd post the picture and ask everyone if it looks like she needs more prizes. lol.  She's showing off her pretty blue nails a volunteer painted while we were at church.

She was not too thrilled to have to take a sponge bath, but we had fun trying to take selfies of the awesome "no rinse" shampoo!

She suddenly decided she loves pictures and also wanted me to take this one of her Carmel Milk Shake.

Since we hadn't seen the boys in a week, Grandma Caine was so nice to drive them up for a visit.  I really wanted them to see Elina in the hospital to help them understand a little of what she's gone through.  I worried about showing up at home and suddenly they can't jump and wrestle all over her. It made things a little harder to juggle, but was great to see my boys and nice to have a little distraction.  Daven wouldn't even come to me which in normal circumstances I would feel bad but as it was, I count it as a blessing.  He's very attached and cries for anyone but me.  This last week though, he has done soooo well sleeping, eating and even warming up to everyone around him!  

Monday: Elina's BNP numbers jumped again so back to the cath lab she went. After an hour or so, they called us back and wanted to talk to us both (never a good sign).  Grandma Caine watched the boys in the waiting room while we went back.  Apparently, they discovered more holes in the bottom of Elina's heart.  They aren't sure if they can fix them through a cath or if they have to go back in open heart.  What!! How could you miss a bunch more holes??  They explained that the bottom of the heart is very fibrous crisscrossing in and out and with the pressure restricting the flow, they weren't caught.  After the initial shock and frustration, we realized that it really was a hidden blessing.  If they had fixed all the holes at once, her heart probably wouldn't have been able to handle the pressure!  

Does she have any holes anywhere else in her body? Bryce asked.  "If anyone did it would be Elina," he responded only half joking.  "I'm just amazed that she is even alive and such a thriving, energetic little girl" I said.  "It's unheard of", he agreed.  So, now we wait until the surgeons have a conference on Wed. to decide what to do.